The real Labour party party

To the Guardian party, a rather ostentatious event for a local newspaper I thought, but they did have the good grace to invite me.

Lots of politicians there but who cares about them. I bump into the delightful Nancy Dell' Olio, of Sven fame, and hang out with her for a while.

"I read the Herald every day," the superflirt assures me between air kisses as we are introduced. "It's my favourite, the International Herald Tribune. We do interview sometime?" Who am I to disabuse her. "Yes Nancy, we do interview sometime. Ciao baby."

Then I spy Eddie Izzard and rush over to share with him my favourite Eddie Izzard gag. Eddie (we're firm friends now) played a gig in Stornoway once and in advance one of the tabloids did the predictable thing and phoned a Free Presbyterian minister for his reaction to this cross-dressing comedian arriving on the "deeply religious island".

Sure enough the paper got their headline, with the Protestant minister slamming Eddie as an "abomination".

The night of the gig, Stornoway Town Hall is packed to the rafters, loaded with expectation. Eddie totters on to the mike, his heels clicking in the tense silence, to deliver a killer opener: "That Reverend John MacLeod, who does he think he is - the Pope."

Eddie laughs, just as the crowd did, even though he's heard the joke before. Anyway, as I was saying to Nancy....